Jesus Didn’t Call You to Comfort—He Called You to Follow Him: How Can I Grow Spiritually?

Start With the Word — Every Single Day

The single most reliable practice for spiritual growth is regular, unhurried time in Scripture. Not a speed-read, not a checklist, but an actual conversation with a living text that has shaped millions of lives across centuries.

You do not need to read five chapters a day to start. One paragraph, read slowly and prayerfully, is worth more than ten chapters skimmed. Ask a simple question as you read: What does this tell me about who God is? Then sit with the answer for a moment.

If you are new to the Bible, the Gospel of John is a natural place to begin. It is written so that you might believe (John 20:31). After that, consider the Psalms — they are the prayer book of the Bible and cover every emotion you will ever feel before God.

Consistency matters more than quantity. A few honest minutes with Scripture every morning will do more for you over six months than an occasional three-hour study session every few weeks.

Prayer Is a Conversation, Not a Performance

Many people stall in spiritual growth because they believe they do not know how to pray correctly. There is no correct technique. Prayer is simply honest speech directed at a God who already knows your situation and has not left the room.

Start where you are. Tell God exactly what you are feeling — confusion, doubt, grief, gratitude, boredom. The Psalms model this kind of radical honesty. Psalm 22 opens with a cry of abandonment. Psalm 103 opens with praise. Both are prayers. Both are heard.

A simple structure can help when you feel lost for words. Spend a moment in gratitude, then bring your honest needs and the needs of others, then sit quietly and listen. You are not waiting for an audible voice — you are practicing the posture of availability.

If anxiety or grief is making it hard to pray, that is not a sign of weak faith. It is a sign that you are human. Professional counseling and prayer genuinely belong together; one does not replace the other.

You Were Not Meant to Grow Alone

Spiritual growth was never designed to happen in isolation. The New Testament assumes community. When Paul writes about the body of Christ in passages like 1 Corinthians 12, he is describing people who need each other in order to function properly.

Finding a local church — one where Scripture is taught faithfully, where people are genuinely kind to newcomers, and where you are encouraged to participate rather than only observe — is one of the most practical steps you can take.

If you are not ready for Sunday morning yet, start smaller. A midweek small group, a one-on-one conversation with a pastor, or even a trusted friend who shares your faith can provide the relational soil that growth needs.

Community also protects you. It is much harder to believe quietly distorted things about God when you are surrounded by people who read the same Bible and gently ask good questions.

Obedience Is How Faith Gets Muscles

Knowledge about God and genuine trust in God are not the same thing. The gap between them closes through obedience — those small, repeated choices to act on what you believe even when you do not feel like it.

James makes this plain at James 1:22: doing what the Word says, not just hearing it, is where transformation happens. This is not about earning anything. It is about the way faith becomes real in your body, your habits, and your relationships.

Obedience rarely starts with dramatic gestures. It starts with forgiving the person who frustrated you this morning. It starts with being honest when dishonesty would be easier. It starts with showing up to serve when you would rather stay home.

Each small act of obedience trains your will and your imagination to trust God in larger things. Over time, this is what people mean when they say someone has mature faith.

Spiritual Disciplines Are Tools, Not Rules

Throughout church history, believers have practiced specific habits — sometimes called spiritual disciplines — not to earn God’s favor but to place themselves where grace tends to work. Think of them as training, not payment.

Fasting, solitude, journaling, serving the poor, practicing Sabbath rest — these are all ways of loosening your grip on things that compete with God for your attention. You choose the ones that match your season of life and your particular struggles.

Fasting, for example, is not about hunger as punishment. It is about redirecting your energy toward prayer and allowing physical need to become a teacher. Even a one-meal fast practiced occasionally can shift your awareness of dependence on God.

Do not try to adopt six new disciplines at once. Choose one. Practice it for thirty days. Then honestly assess whether it has opened anything in your relationship with God.

Expect Seasons, Not Straight Lines

Spiritual growth is not a graph that only moves upward. It involves dry seasons, doubts, plateaus, and what spiritual writers across centuries have called ‘the dark night of the soul’ — periods when God feels distant and faith feels thin.

These seasons are not signs that you have been abandoned or that you have done something wrong. They are part of the formation process. Psalm 88 ends without resolution, and it is still in the Bible. Honest darkness has a place in a real faith.

What carries you through a dry season is not intense feeling but practiced faithfulness — continuing to show up for prayer, Scripture, and community even when it feels hollow. On the other side of those seasons, most believers report a deeper and quieter trust than they had before.

If a dry season has stretched into genuine depression or despair, please reach out to both a pastor and a mental health professional. God works through both, and there is no spiritual merit in suffering alone.

Growth Has a Direction: Becoming More Like Christ

All the practices above serve a single destination. The goal of spiritual growth, as Paul names it in Romans 8:29, is being conformed to the image of Christ — growing in love, patience, humility, honesty, courage, and compassion.

That goal is large enough to last a lifetime and small enough to practice today in the next conversation you have with someone who annoys you. It is both cosmic and completely ordinary.

You will not reach perfection in this life. The Christian tradition is nearly unanimous on that point. But you can become, genuinely and measurably, more loving and more free than you are right now. That is the promise woven through the whole New Testament.

Come back to the anchor image: a newborn longing for milk. You do not have to manufacture your own growth. You have to stay hungry, stay close to what nourishes you, and trust that the One who began this work in you will carry it forward (Philippians 1:6).

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to grow spiritually?

There is no fixed timeline — spiritual growth happens across an entire lifetime, not a semester. Most people notice meaningful change within months of consistent Scripture reading, prayer, and community, but maturity is measured in years and decades. Be patient with yourself the way a good parent is patient with a child who is learning to walk.

Can I grow spiritually without going to church?

You can take real steps of faith on your own, and God meets you wherever you are. However, the New Testament consistently assumes that believers grow within community, not apart from it. Isolation tends to slow growth and distort perspective over time; even an imperfect local church provides accountability, encouragement, and the experience of loving people you would not have chosen on your own.

What if I read the Bible and don't understand it?

That is completely normal and not a sign that Scripture is closed to you. Start with a readable modern translation, read smaller passages more slowly, and ask the simple question: what does this tell me about God or about people? A good study Bible with notes, a trusted pastor, or a beginner Bible class can bridge most gaps without making the process feel academic.

Is spiritual growth different when I'm going through grief or depression?

Yes, and it is important to honor that difference. Grief and depression change how everything feels, including prayer and Scripture — not because your faith has failed but because you are carrying real weight. Growth in those seasons often looks like simply staying present with God rather than achieving anything. Please do not hesitate to seek professional mental health support alongside your spiritual practices; they work together.

How do I know if I'm actually growing spiritually?

Spiritual growth shows up most clearly in your relationships and your responses to difficulty — more patience, more honesty, a slower rise to anger, a growing capacity to forgive. It is rarely visible in the mirror but becomes obvious to the people around you over time. If you are unsure, ask a trusted friend or mentor who has known you for a year or more.